Remember when you wanted what you currently have? – My Journey.

You know, life has a funny way of making someone feel behind. Maybe it’s being in a highly demanding field but the truth is that time will always move whether you are keeping up or not. There’s a saying that “comparison is the thief of joy”. Imagine if you constantly compared yourself to others; you would never truly acknowledge your accomplishments because it would never be enough. The day I realized that my journey in medicine is MY journey was the day I really allowed myself to be free of those thoughts of feeling behind.

I’ve always wanted to be a doctor since I was a young child in Cameroon, watching my grandmother struggle with rheumatoid arthritis and learning about all the herbal medicines she used or always had ready for us when we were sick. Growing up in a small village with such minimal advancements when it came to healthcare was very eye opening. Enough that it became very evident to me that I wanted to help people and make a bigger impact in their lives through medicine.

Fast forward to many years later.

When I first started my medical journey in 2021 there was an astounding feeling of uncertainty and fear of what I was about to indulge myself into for the next coming years. There were times when everything seemed impossible and internal battles full of doubtful noises was so hard to silent. I often looked for inspiration in the lives of other people I followed on social media, wondering if they can do it then why can’t I? One thing I was certain about was that it is my God given passion and purpose to be a physician and this was something I knew before I could even understand that revelation.

That came and passed and my first year finished just like that. I then relocated to the island of Antigua and Barbuda for my second year. Adjusting to the changes of life on the island and being away from home proved to be far from easy; sending me down a tunnel of despair. Things began to look up as I became more comfortable, acclimated to the conditions on the island and adjusted my schedule to manage my responsibilities. Before I knew it, second year was successfully over and I was sitting for the dreadful(not being dramatic) COMP exam. Thanking God for his grace, I passed and it was time to officially leave the island.

STEP prep was a different ball game. Being back home was great, celebrating the holidays with friends and family and feeling a sense of relaxation after being away on the grind for so long. It wasn’t long before I realized it was time to lock in for my dedicated study period. At this point, the only bestie I knew was my new 2023 USMLE first aid book(curtesy of Phide). I prepared for STEP using Uworld, Pathoma, ANKI and boot camp videos. In early January 2024, I took my STEP 1 exam and a few weeks after that I was notified that I had passed; an unexplainable feeling. Sometimes I can be hard on myself and maybe you’ve notice that about yourself too but I’m here to tell you that it is so important to recognize your wins and celebrate them. Throughout this journey there will always be a next step but get used to appreciating where you are at the moment.

Where I’m I at the moment? I am in Ohio for my FM1/IM1, the first rotation of my clinical years and I am so excited for what I will end up learning at the end of it all. I am open minded about my experience and I am choosing to take an active role in my education by being more involved as I rotate. Obviously, the story is not this short and straightforward; but definitely something to give you a picture to visualize. All this to say, it would’ve been hard to picture myself here a long time ago but here I am. I am also thinking about how future me as a physician will look back and see how far she’s come. In the meantime, we(me and you) will be choosing to celebrate ourselves at every milestone even as we look forward to the next.

Until next time!